


Naming Maitimo

by Sylanna



Category: The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Quenya Names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26065921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylanna/pseuds/Sylanna
Summary: Most elves think Nerdanel named her oldest son for his impeccable looks and call her shallow. She never corrects the assumption, even though her reasons were different.
Relationships: Fingon | Findekáno/Maedhros | Maitimo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 79





	1. Vision and Change

In the light of Telperion, in her studio, Nerdanel put down her chisel. She was working on a statue for the court of Tirion recently, depicting Varda, the Queen of the Valar. From the forge outside, she heard the falling of a hammer in a steady rhythm. Whilst she had been working of the features of the Lady of Stars, a realization had struck Nerdanel.

Her cycle had not come as it always did. She and Fёanáro had agreed recently to try for a child. For elves, it was the decision that made conceiving possible, but for most parents, it took along time for their wish to come true. Nerdanel’s choice had not been long ago. She put a hand on her stomach. There was no outer indication, but she was reasonably sure there was a child growing in there. She would wait though, to tell Fёanáro. If her hopes turned out to be wrong, she did not want disappoint her husband. He was not the best to deal with disappointment. She took her chisel back in hand.

\- - -

Three month later, she was certain there was a child growing in her. She could feel their presence at the edge of her mind. Soon now, Fёanáro would be able to feel the third in their bond too. It was time to tell him.

They were lying together that evening, in bed, both refreshed from a recent bath.

“Dearest, I have news for you”, she whispered and turned around in his arms.

Fёanáro pulled back a little. “What news?”, he asked, his voice carefully controlled. Through this, she realized her mistake. Finwё had acted similarly, when telling her husband about the remarriage and later about her now brothers-in-law.

She put her hand on his jaw. “A joyous change of events.” Nerdanel let her hands wander down her husband’s body and carefully held his arms. With a bit of strength, she lifted his hands and put them on her belly.

Fёanáro’s eyes grew wide. “Truly?”, he asked.

She smiled. “Yes. Today, I felt their fёa for the first time connecting to mine.”

Her husband closed his eyes for a moment and focused on their bond. He let out a sigh of relief. “I can feel their presence too, very faint.” He leaned forward and kissed her on the mouth. Nerdanel relaxed into his embrace and caresses.

\- - -

Her vision struck her while she was working on another statue. She saw her child, her to be firstborn, a son, standing tall and proud in the light of the trees. His hair red like hers, his face regal like Fёanáro’s. It was over in a flash and she had no idea how to name him yet. At least she knew now she would be giving birth to a sun.

When she told Fёanáro about her first premonition, he smiled. “He shall be the third heir to Finwё’s line. For this, I will name him Nelyafinwё.”

Nerdanal nodded. It was Fёanáro’s right to choose the father-name of the child. Her choice would be gifting her son a suiting amilessё, the mother-name.

\- - -

She decided upon Nelyafinwё’s amilessё in the hour of his birth. Nerdanel spent the time in great pain, with many visions of her child passing through her mind. She saw him standing in some unfamiliar place, in a strange light, with scars over his body. She pitied her son that such fate would befall him. But he was living and caring gently for two children next to him. Maybe these were her grand-sons? She saw him also in the court of Tirion, speaking with Finwё, playing with other children in the grass outside the city, but always he was carrying himself with pride and calm strength.

She did not care if he was unmarred or scarred, to her his mind counted and what she saw made her proud, as only a mother can be. He would be her eldest one day, Fёanáro’s heir and inherently good. He would be the first of her sons.

She gave him the name Maitimo not for his looks. He was fair to look upon in her visions, but that was not his core. She named him the well-formed-one, because this was the highest praise a sculptor could give their work. Maitimo was to be her masterpiece.

\- - -

For his hair of copper, her son soon received an epessё. Russandol, his cousins called him. Copper-top. He told Nerdanel he liked it, especially if Findekáno shortened it to Russa. Nerdanel smiled. She still used his amilessё in conversation more often than not, but did never tell him why she gave him this name and soon it was to late to do so.

\- - -

Much later, after her family broke, she learned of the name Maitimo took in Middle-Earth, in the tongue of the Sindar people living there. He was Maedhros now, changed by the cruel fate that had befallen all of her children. Nerdanel wept for every one of them bitter tears, blaming herself for not standing up more for them. Sometimes she wished she could hurt Fёanáro as much as he hurt her children. She hated him now, she loved him still. Her inner conflict kept her from asking the Valar to let her meet her husband in the Halls.

Nerdanel found Maedhros’ choice of a name strangely ironic, with him basically renouncing his father-name completely and opting for a version using his epessё instead.


	2. The Return

After thousands of years of the sun, Nerdanel was well known by Námo. She came to beg for mercy for her sons to his door every so often. She knew she should be glad for her family not to have been sent to the void, but she wanted at least her children alive and well again. She had no hope for her dear Fёanáro. Over the years she had come to terms with his banishment to the halls. On his head were the worst crimes of the Noldor. Still, if Fёanáro was to blame for much, her children were not innocent and she was well aware of it. Many had come to her door, to blame her for not taking action, some even with revenge on her minds.  
One day, Námo had visited her, talking to her about the truth. Her children had been a product of their upbringing in the way that they had followed their father without question. Swearing the oath could be forgiven and their deeds afterwards regarded in it’s light. Alqualondё was the sin they were repenting for. Especially Maedhros was haunted by it. Even if Námo would allow them rebirth, their fёa would not be able to accept a new body.  
He allowed Nerdanel visitation and so she was able to at least talk to them and wait.

\- - -

“Why did you name me for my looks?”, Maedhros asked her. “After Thangorodrim, my amilessё felt like a bad joke.”  
Oh, how she would have wanted to take him into her arms, but in the halls, it was impossible. He was here in fёa only, she was not able to see or feel him. “I did not name you for your fair skin and face.”  
“Why then did you choose Maitimo?”  
“I am a sculptor at heart. Well built is the best praise I can give something that is a work of my hands. You are my masterpiece, my firstborn child.”  
Maedhros did not answer her for a long time.

\- - -

He was reborn as the last of her children. Námo came to her a day prior and informed her about it and that she would not be the only one to come welcome Maedhros back to life. She was supposed to go to Fingolfin’s house and meet there with Fingon and then make her way to the Halls. She did not understand why Námo insisted on her bringing Findekáno along. The former High King had been re-embodied some years prior. He had visited once, talking to her. She had not had much patience for him. She knew from her few talks with Maedhros in the halls that these two had been even closer friends in Beleriand, but she had not connection to the prince.  
She did what she had to do, she would not defy Námo’s wishes.

Fingon greeted her with a smile. “Lady Nerdanel”, he said. He did not call her aunt. Even after Fёanáro was no longer around to reprimand him, he kept the courtesy up.  
“Greetings Findekáno.”  
“Why are you here?”, the former king asked. His face spoke of weariness and caution. “You avoided me so far, so why now?”  
She bit her lip to not answer in anger. He was right though. “Námo has summoned me and advised me to bring you along.”  
It took a moment for Fingon to grasp the meaning. “Mae is coming back”, he whispered, tears running down his face. “Wait a moment, I will grab some things.”  
She waited longer than a few moments, but she heard Findekáno still rummaging around. He finally came back with a bag on his back. Some things in there shifted against each other, giving of a metallic sound. She did not ask what was in there, she had no right to it. She just observed. The main outline of the satchel seemed to be filled with cloth, maybe some clothes. She had a similar bag on her horse.

They travelled together, but did not talk much. Fingon was occasionally telling the horses to hurry, as if a few minutes would have made a big difference. He seemed much more excited than Nerdanel herself was. She had done this four times already. Once for the Ambarussa, who were the first to return. Then for Tyelkormo, Carnistir and Atarinke, in that order. Now they lived in her old home, trying to adjust. Makalaurё did surprisingly not die. He had come with one of the ships, dragged along by one of Thingol’s heirs. He chose to remain with Elrond Peredhel, but visited often. He was slowly recovering from thousands of years spent alone at the shore. It was a fate worse than her own. At least she had been able to go to Tirion or visit her parents.

The Halls were in sight, when Nerdanel stopped holding her tongue. “Why did Námo ask for you? Usually he only allows parents, children and spouses to take the newly returned back.”  
Fingon smiled. “You have answered your question yourself.”  
Her eyes grew wide. “When did you marry?”  
“In Beleriand, when my father was king.”  
All it took for two elves to marry was their consent and swearing an marriage oath to Eru. She and Fёanáro had done so in the same manner. It was no surprise that Eru did not discriminate the way the Valar sometimes did. Námo calling upon Fingon meant their marriage was valid.  
“My blessings”, she said and watched Fingon from the side. He seemed to relax, his posture shifting.  
“Thank you. I wasn’t sure how you would react.”  
It was clear he had in mind how Fёanáro would have reacted. He had probably feared violence. She however, was an old elleth now, and new revelations had come to her often. “I am not my husband.”  
“You are not”, he agreed.  
“It was his decision to make and neither my nor Fёanáro’s opinion should have ever mattered to you.”  
Fingon stopped his horse. “Our marriage was probably the only truly selfish action Maedhros took. In Himring, he gave so much consideration to his people, while it stood still strong.”  
“He made a good choice. Tell me something, Findekáno, do you know which name he prefers now?”  
“Why?”  
“The last conversation we had, I came to the understanding he does not like the amilessё I gave him.”  
Fingon breathed in, in a heavy way. “After Thangorodrim, he struggled with both his names and instead asked me to use his epessё instead. With giving away the crown, he was no longer Finwё’s heir and his scars made him look fierce, but not beautiful in the traditional way. His hair he let grow again though, and it was not associated with pain, so he chose Russandol.”  
“And Maedhros? How did that construction come to be?”  
“He has some of Fёanáro’s love for language and after Thingol’s ban of quenya, he built some combination of his own. To answer your question, I do not know which name he will prefer today.”  
Nerdanel thought about this for a moment and nodded. The stay in the Halls was healing and changed elves still a lot, even if they were not able to remember most of it. She had not seen her eldest son in body in over six-thousand years, having expectations of him would be cruel. Still she hoped he had been able to heal properly. Nerdanel would have liked to help him more, but she had been unable to do so.  
They stopped in front of the Halls, the apparent walls going up high. Logically, Nerdanel knew these walls were only for show, they did not truly exist. Still, no living eldar would be able to cross the threshold. Námo was nowhere to be seen, but by now the red-haired elleth knew the Valar kept his own schedule. He would bring Maedhros back to her, when it was the appointed time. Fingon was equally calm.

\- - -

She did not know when her eldest son had changed from Maitimo to Maedhros in her thoughts. Thinking back, it must have been somewhere around the end of the First Age of the world. The change from First to Second Age had gone unnoticed by most of the Valinorian Elves, but to her it had meant the end of her family. With it came many elves back from the Halls of Mandos, seeking her. Some of them came to just stare in her face, blaming her for everything that happened with Fёanáro. Only a few of them spoke favourable about her son, among them elves who experienced capture and rescue from Angband, finding a home in Himring. On thing, all those visitors had in common. They called her eldest son Maedhros.  
Still, she had not taken to thinking about him with that name until his death. Now she was unsure of how to address him. 

\- - -

Námo led Maitimo by the hand towards them. Usually, one of the Maiar would do this, but for Nerdanel’s children, Námo had taken the duty as his own. Most newly returned were unstable on their feet, because the fёa was still forming the connection to the body. At least this was the explanation she regaled herself with.  
Outside, Maitimo looked the same as the ellon that had left Valinor. No visible scars marred his skin, at least as far as Nerdanel could see. His right hand had been returned to him too. So far, he had not spotted her or Fingon. Instead, he was cradling his hands against his chest. The gesture appeared a bit strange, but she would ask about this later, when her voice was not breaking because of happiness.  
And then Maedhros looked up and saw them waiting. The moment he realized it, his eyes grew wide and he stopped in his tracks. She smiled inviting and Fingon stepped forward.  
Námo gave the red-haired ellon a little push and Maedhros staggered in their direction. Nerdanel just watched as her eldest son fell into Findekáno’s arms, tears of joy running down her cheeks. Their embrace of reunion lasted long and she did not interfere. She was happy for them to be reunited again. A broken bond of marriage unmended was an open wound. Hers at least was bearable, but sometimes she wished for Fёanáro’s return. Despite her conflicting feelings about him, she would take him back, for her love was lasting.  
Námo came closer and stood to Nerdanel’s side. “Are you better?”, he asked.  
It was a follow up to an old conversation, when she had begged for her children. Nerdanel nodded. “Thank you for arguing for their release.”  
The Valar shook his head. “I have to thank you, for teaching me forgiveness. And the answer to the question in your head is, he prefers Maedhros still. He is not the elf that left.”  
Nerdanel nodded in thanks. In the next moment, Námo was gone and Maedhros looked at her with fear.  
“Ammё, I am sorry”, he said, holding up the palm of his left hand. It still bore the burn mark of the silmaril.  
Nerdanel stepped closer and took his hands into hers, running her fingers along his skin. Fingon stood a bit to the side, watching. She pulled her son close, wrapping her arms around him. “I forgive you, Maedhros. I am glad you are well enough to come to life again.” She held him, hearing his whispers of gratitude and wept.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and Comments are highly appreciated.


End file.
